What It Cost Me

This is a running tally of what my custody case and what followed it have cost me. Every line has a date and a source. Where I could not document an amount, I left it off.

What I paid

What others paid for my case

Milo Valenti paid for the Florida Airbnb rental where my sons and I stayed in May and June 2022.

Safe housing on advice of counsel

I was trying to secure safe housing for my sons and me on the advice of counsel. Every Airbnb I booked during the case is listed here, dated, at the full amount I paid. A second Georgia booking for the same September dates was refunded in full and is left out. (The Richfield Airbnb on a parenting weekend is in the hotel lines above.)

Housing costs caused by the court's failures

The case forced the sale of my house, so I had to rent. The sale was agreed on 1/11/2023, and the court ordered the proceeds of $121,659.98 held at Chicago Title; $30,000 of it went straight to my lawyers' firm (above). These lines are the full rent for every month I lived in each rental, whoever paid it. My mother and Brian paid some of the months.

North Royalton rental, January to May 2023

The rental office agreed to let me break the lease; rent was owed through May because the unit was re-leased for June. My mother sent the first $2,500 (also listed under "What others paid"; it is counted once). A $1,577.96 collections payment on 6/12/2024 settled what I believe was the final North Royalton bill; it is part of these charges and is not added again.

Greenwood condo (Sagamore Hills), 1/17/2024 to 2/16/2025

Housing subtotal (rent and fees): $37,594.39, of which my mother paid $2,500 (under "What others paid") and I paid $35,094.39.

Furnishing the Greenwood condo

My mother also paid a little over $5,000 to Levin Furniture; that line is under "What others paid".

Therapy and evaluations

Therapy for me, and the evaluations, testing and expert review in my case, that I paid for from 2022 to 2026.

I also saw Stefanie Young at HOPE Counseling weekly from August 2022 into 2023 at $80 a session, paid by Venmo or cash; only the payments above have a receipt, so only they are counted.

Trauma care at home

Things I bought to manage the trauma, the panic attacks and the sleeplessness the case caused, 2022 to 2026. The supplement and oil lines are a strict list of calming items from my Amazon orders; vitamins, snacks and skin and hair products are left out, and so is anything bought from other stores.

Gas

Every fuel purchase on my own cards and bank accounts, 2022 to 2025. The total includes everyday driving as well as the drives to court, lawyers, evaluators, therapists and supervised visits with my sons.

AI tools to organize my case

I used AI tools to transcribe my recordings and organize my case records. Another $576.68 in 2026 AI subscriptions was paid on Brian's card (under "What others paid").

The car I had when I lost my sons

In March 2025 I traded in the car I had when I lost my sons, because it was traumatic and to lower my payment from $1,468.95 to $734.72 a month. I was upside down on it. Brian lent me $17,000 toward the negative equity (under "What others paid"), and the rest rolled into my new loan.

The $9,000 is an estimate from the loan officer's payoff figure and the trade-in offer. I don't have the dealer's contract on file.

Court costs, transcripts and records

Total cost of the case

The total counts each payment once. My mother's $2,500 toward the North Royalton rent is in "paid by others" and taken out of my housing share. The Levin Furniture line is approximate, and the car figure is an estimate. Lawyers' invoices below are billed amounts, not added to the total.

Debt I took on for the case

On 1/10/2025 my friend Ron wired me a $10,000 loan, right after, in my account, Lisa Dean took my sons again without a court order in January 2025. It is not added to the total, because the costs it paid for are already counted above.

Money I lost to Milo and could never recover, because my lawyer, Kimberly Valenti, is his daughter

Milo Valenti was my business partner, and he is Kimberly Valenti's father. In my account, he took my money, and I could never go after it because my own custody lawyer was his daughter.

He told me he was going to put the money toward marketing, restarting my group and paying influencers. In spite of my asking, I never got a record of any of it being spent. As far as I know, it never happened. In my account, he just took it.

I have received none of it back. This loss is shown on its own and is not added to the total cost of the case.

The career I lost

I started my wellness and network-marketing businesses in January 2020, after my ex-husband quit or was fired from his job (I still don't know which). The case cost me those businesses and my wellness group, a Facebook group that grew to 100,000 members in nine months. It is too traumatic to continue in wellness, so I had to restart my career in marketing.

The marital account

My ex-husband opened our PNC marital account. His documented payroll went into it (at least $55,764.48, late 2018 through 2019), then his unemployment ($8,796 in 2020 and $2,620 in 2021). From 3/9/2021 to 5/3/2022 I made 64 transfers from my business account into it, $57,450 in all, at his repeated request: about 17 texts from July 2020 to April 2022. On 5/26/21 he wrote, "Can you put money into PNC? Only $70 in there..." On 9/4/21: "Need more money in PNC please… you can only put $500 in PNC at a time?"

The bank records show cash taken out and alcohol merchants. In my account, much of this went to drugs and alcohol. This section is not added to the totals.

What was billed

Time

Court dates, meetings and days I lost, where I can document them.

The time it took: hours I spent fighting for justice, February 2022 to October 2026

I was asked how many hours and days I have spent since early 2022 proving I was my sons' primary caregiver, trying to get anyone to look at my evidence, and fighting perjury that has never been prosecuted. This is my estimate, built from items in my own records that can be counted.

How I counted

Each line is a count from my records multiplied by the hours each item took. "Estimate" means an assumed number of hours. "Mine" means a time I gave, from my own experience or my phone records. The period is February 15, 2022 (the day police arrested my ex-husband for domestic violence, with me as the victim) to October 17, 2026: 1,705 days, or about 243.6 weeks.

Sources and notes. Emails: sent-mail searches of my Gmail on 10/17/2026 for case words found at least 1,821 messages I sent from 1/1/2022 to 10/17/2026 (64 in 2022, 300 in 2023, 573 in 2024, 469 in 2025, 415 in 2026). 842 of them went to a lawyer, court, government office, police department, bar association or school. The high figure adds 41 messages from my second Gmail account to my lawyers and the court. The search shows only the last five messages of each thread, so the real numbers are higher. OurFamilyWizard: 561 unique messages, 8/10/2022 – 9/14/2026. Docket: the clerk's docket report for DR-2022-03-0667 (715 entries; 81 under my own name). The protection-order case DR-2022-05-1201 and appeal C.A. 30371 are not counted. Court days (20): 5/6, 5/20, 8/2, 8/9, 9/15, 9/29, 10/14, 10/17, 11/11, 11/29, 12/20 and 12/30/2022; 1/11, 4/26, 5/24, 6/27 and 10/4/2023; 7/25, 10/30 and 10/31/2025. Other courthouse trips: court parking on 6/14 and 9/20/2022, 2/3/2023, 7 days from 4/15 to 12/3/2024, and 4 days from 6/9 to 10/31/2025. Some may fall on court days, hence 10 – 14. Police (11): 5/4, 5/6 and 5/12/2022; 1/9, 2/20 and 8/23/2023; 6/9, 6/13, 8/5, 9/5 and 9/10/2025. School visits (2): my recordings of 9/4/2025 (31 minutes) and 9/5/2025 (9.5 minutes) at Rushwood Elementary; my 9/5/2025 written objection to the school; and the district's letters of 9/8 and 9/10/2025 saying I could not visit my son at school during the school day. My repeated visits to the Walton Hills station from August 2025 to June 2026 aren't all on record, so they aren't all counted. Recordings: my media index of 1,119 audio and video files; lengths are summed where measured. There are 107 Zoom recordings in my Dropbox, and my laptop holds about 143 files from the same visits. Kimberly Valenti: my texts with her and her colleague show 106 days from 5/2022 to 7/20/2023 that mention printing, drop-offs, meetings or lunch. The phone bills are in my Dropbox (/EVIDENCE/Phone Bills). Health care: provider statement 1/31/2025, my texts, Venmo and card receipts, and calendar reminders. Massages and chiropractic visits aren't counted yet because I haven't found their records. Evaluations (8): drug test 6/13/2022, testing 8/10/2022, court-ordered psychological evaluation 8/19/2022, Dr. Mekota 8/2024, Ascend 11/2024, Dr. McKenzie 12/2024 – 1/2025, Amen Clinics 1/6 and 2/12/2026, Dr. Blankenship 1/26 – 3/17/2026.

The cost of doing my lawyer's work

For the 14 months Kimberly Valenti was my lawyer, I spent at least 882 hours on the phone with her, at lunch meetings with her, and printing and driving documents to her. That is about 110 eight-hour workdays, or 37 full days. In my words, I was "doing her job for her." These hours are part of the totals above.

What it cost me that money can't measure

I lost the people around me. I was isolated and judged by everyone I knew, and I had no support, because no one could understand how a mother could lose her children. They blamed me. They thought I must have done something wrong. I was met with judgment instead of compassion.

Friends distanced themselves from me because they didn't want to be associated with my trauma and my public story, since it would affect their business. I'm bitter about that.

The loneliest part was that the people who should have been standing up for me made excuses for my abuser instead, and they still associate with my abuser in spite of knowing everything.

It was so hard to keep hitting walls and being attacked, over and over. I felt suffocated. After I had lost everything, when I had no money, I was attacked again and again. In my experience, I was being extorted for child support and retaliated against, all at the same time.

I carry guilt and shame for not leaving sooner. And I carry bitterness and anger toward my family, because for years I begged them to help me escape the abuse, and they didn't.

No one understood the anger, the bitterness, the grief and the pain. I couldn't talk about it with the people who mattered most, because they had never experienced it and couldn't relate.

Every relationship in my life was harmed, because of what I lost and a grief they couldn't handle.

After any action in the litigation, panic attacks would shut me down for weeks. I had psychogenic seizures, caused by the trauma of litigation abuse. I haven't had one in a while.

What non-enforcement cost me

These are the parts of my time and money that I tie to two failures: perjury that was never prosecuted, and custodial interference that was never enforced. The time figures are estimates and are already part of the totals above, not added to them. The dollar figures are from this page.

Time

Email counts are sent-mail keyword searches of my Gmail run 10/17/2026 ("perjury," "2921.11," "falsification," "2921.13"; "custodial interference," "interference with custody," "2919.23"). They are minimums. For comparison, my October 2026 count of enforcement emails up to June 2026: Sagamore Hills Police 46, Walton Hills Police 27, Summit County Sheriff's Office 13, Summit County Prosecutor 11 (0 replies), and the Ohio Attorney General's office 57 (14 replies, all from staff, saying the office had no jurisdiction).

Money

Most of the $216,116.80 total cost of my case ($161,770.12 paid by me and $54,346.68 paid by others), plus $30,355.00 billed and not counted, was spent after the June 8, 2022 order. Because my contempt motions have never been heard, no court costs or attorney's fees have ever been assessed against anyone under R.C. 3109.051(K), and I have received no compensatory parenting time.

Ohio law checked on codes.ohio.gov on October 17, 2026: R.C. 2921.11, 2921.13 (effective 9/30/2025), 2919.23 (effective 4/6/2023), 3109.051 (effective 10/3/2023), 2705.02 (effective 1/1/2025), 2705.031, 2705.05 and 2929.14(A)(3)(b). This section is my account and my estimate. It is not legal advice.

The case has cost me far more than money. I now have psychogenic seizures, caused by the extreme trauma of litigation abuse and losing my children overnight.

Time with my sons, year by year

Before the June 8, 2022 custody order, I was with my sons every day except the days I travelled without them, and those trips are documented and left out. After the order, a day counts only if a record shows an in-person visit: supervisor or counselor notes, a deposition, OurFamilyWizard messages, an evaluator's report, my own same-day text, or my dated photos with the boys. Video calls are never counted. Hours are counted only where a record gives the time, so the hours after the order are a minimum.

§ 2022: 127 days before the order and 31 after. * 2019: 1 day my sons were with his mother only, while I was away. † 2013: I was with my Older Son every day from his birth; the count is left off so it doesn't reveal his birthday. Hours after the order count only visits with stated times, mostly Wednesdays 5:30–7:30 PM, so 2023 and 2024 hours are partial. 2021 leaves out 2/4–2/6, a Florida trip without my sons (I was home the morning of 2/3 and had them the evening of 2/7), plus a 7/23 work trip and 12/3. 2020 leaves out a 10/31 overnight work event. ‡ Common Ground supervised visits: 40 in 2024 and 16 in 2025, 56 in all, $7,281.93. "With ex-husband and his mother" counts the days of my documented trips without my sons (in 2022, 2 of those days my parents had them). School days are my Younger Son's logged preschool days. Visit hours are counted after the order only.

Altogether: more than 3,350 days with my sons from his birth until the order, and 213 documented days in the four years and four months since. "Strict" adventure days are backed by a journal entry, my photos with the boys, or a visit record; the larger number also counts dated photos taken away from home. My ex-husband is counted as present only when a dated photo tags him or a journal entry says he was with us. My Older Son's school days were not logged day by day.

I was my sons' primary caregiver

• I took them to every appointment: 81 documented from 2013 until the order (64 chiropractic, 11 pediatrician or integrative, 3 dental, 2 vision, 1 therapy). The one exception was a dentist visit on 7/30/18, which I asked him to take. My journal the day before: "Asked him to take [my Older Son] to his dentist appt I set up."
• He only did things for the boys when I asked. Journal, 12/2/18: "Today was the first time [my ex-husband] picked up [my Older Son] from school… He didn't know where to pick him up from or what time to get him." His texts: "Can you please change [my Younger Son]'s diaper?" (7/20/19) and "Can you please put the boys clothes in the dryer?" (9/2/20).
• He never did the boys' laundry or put their clothes away; he did only his own, because he said I screwed it up like I screwed everything else up.
• He didn't know their sizes or where their things were. Journal, 9/7/18: "[my ex-husband] didn't know what size diapers [my Younger Son] wore, or clothes or shoes since he never bought them anything." His texts: "Where are [my Older Son]'s diapers?" (2/25/19, 9:25 PM; I answered "Second drawer"); "What's [my Older Son]'s shoe size for snowboard boots?" (1/22/20); "What's [my Older Son]'s shoe size?" (6/12/20); "Did you get diapers for [my Younger Son]?" (10/12/21).
• On 7/25/2017 I took my sons to Crossroads Chiropractic & Acupuncture (Dr. Bobbi J. Taylor) and filled in and signed both boys' intake forms. My Older Son's chief complaint, in my handwriting: "Behavioral Sensory Issues & Night Terrors." The chart note: "His mother reports that he is experiencing night terrors and behavioral sensory issues."
• I joined moms groups and playgroups for the boys' enrichment: 35 on my list, 22 with dated activity, including Moms of Northeast Ohio, East Side Mom 'n Tots, Fairlawn Moms & Tots, the Chagrin Falls & Surrounding Areas Moms Meetup Group, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), Mothers & More Cleveland, Northeast Ohio Happy Homeschoolers and Moms of Stow.

What I and my mother paid for the boys' schooling

• Childcare, 9/2021 – 5/2022: $9,190. Mostly my business checks ($6,790), plus a $150 check I signed on the marital account; the payer on two checks ($2,250) isn't shown. The enrollment packet is signed by me and lists me first.
• Preschool, 2/2020 – 5/2021: my mother and I split the tuition 50/50. My mother paid $3,159; my documented half is $1,236.25.

These are caregiving records, not case costs, and are not in the totals.

More adventures found

• 4/25/2019: our flight home at the end of an April stay in Florida, my Older Son and me (both boarding passes).
• 8/23–8/25/2019: a camping weekend in Hocking Hills, with photos of the boys.
• 5/15/2022: Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky, during a week away with my sons.
• June 2023: a camping weekend with my sons.
• August 2023: a Wednesday outing with the boys.
• October 2023: a cottage weekend for the boys and their friend.
• November 2023: Great Wolf Lodge weekend.
• March–April 2024: spring break with my sons, including the zoo, Easter, Sky Zone and the I-X Center.

Nursing and overnight care

I nursed each of my sons every 1.5 to 2 hours, so during those periods they were with me around the clock. I did all the night care myself. My ex-husband never helped with my Older Son and only rarely got up with my Younger Son. When he did have to get up at night, he stomped around the house loudly, slammed doors, and shook my Older Son when my Older Son had night terrors. He had no patience for the night terrors, so I stopped asking him for help because I didn't want him harming our son. Every day I napped with my Older Son for 1.5 to 3 hours, through his napping years. I had chronic fatigue from being woken in the middle of the night and from sexual assaults while I was asleep (journal 8/30/18 and 9/3/18).

My Older Son used to wake up screaming uncontrollably and couldn't be consoled; my ex-husband would yell at him to stop and shake him (my text, 6/24/22).

• Journal, 11/24/18: "If I dared ask [my ex-husband] to wake up in the middle of the night to get the kids he would stomp to their room and slam the doors so I stopped asking him for help and he rarely ever woke up with them at night because it turned into a production. I solely took care of the kids…"
• Journal, 3/13/18: "Exhausted from kids not sleeping at night and having no help."
• Doctor visit, 1/29/19: for "extreme chronic fatigue" (journal 1/29/19).

School, and who did the pickups

• My Older Son: I homeschooled him (journal 6/14/18). He started kindergarten in August 2018.
• My Younger Son: he started preschool in February 2020.
• December 2, 2018: the first time my ex-husband picked up my Older Son from school (journal).

His work schedule

He worked late most days, left by 7 AM most mornings, and spent most weekends on lawn work or side jobs.

By professional

• Kimberly Valenti: the DeHaven invoices, the $30,000, Vestige, transcripts
• John Chapman: his $500 fee, paid by Kimberly Valenti
• Brendon Kohrs: his $997.50 in fees (my half $498.75), and James Phillips's $5,430 (my half $2,715)
• Lori Long: the deposition court reporter, and Dr. Blankenship's $9,450 review of her record

This page combines bank and card statements, invoices, court records, texts, and my own records. Card and bank lines are listed as they appear on the statements. Updated October 17, 2026.